At what stage are you officially grown up? Despite being happily married, being kicked in the tummy by a wriggly little baby as I type and having today achieved a birthday to change both numbers, I know that I am not grown up. The reason why? My birthday cake (well H and my joint cake) looks like this:
When I construct something elegant and beautiful with limited food colouring and possibly with columns, then you know I've really made it.
In the meantime, let me tell you the tale of Castle Bear in the land of Jelly.
As you can see, the castle is well protected, being slightly elevated from the surrounding area by (a) a gently mound of grass and (b) a stool.
The fortifications are such that shark-infested custard was considered an unnecessary expense and in the spirit of budget cuts sadly sweeping the land of Jelly, the moat has instead been populated with giant shrimp. They might tickle your toes a bit if you went for a swim but other than that they're unlikely to bother anyone too much.
In the verdant meadows to the side of the castle, see common domestic animals happily graze on the lush turf.
(and yes that is a hippo in the moat).
Up on the castle wells, little escapes the notice of the eagle-eyed sentry guards.
Meanwhile, down at the front gate, some local Jelly-merchants approach the sentries on the front gate, bringing fresh supplies of rum and fluffy pillows for the castle's inhabitants.
For all is not as peaceful and serene as it may appear. The castle's ward overflows with treasure yes, but treasure from where? From a pirate ship, wrecked on the coast not far away exactly 1 year ago.
The treasure was recovered by the castle guards and the one remaining survivor, the Pirate King, was captured and brought to the dungeon below the sun terrace, where he spends his days tearing his curly locks and gazing mournfully at the treasure that was once all his.
But is all lost? Is he entirely without hope? Look carefully at our friendly jelly-merchant's cart:
No, look really carefully
Do you see the jelly pirate in hiding underneath the bottom of the cart?
and two more jelly pirates take advantage of the princesses' happy chatter to slowly scale the walls,